Piano, Soccer, a Magic Killer, and a Halftime Show at Church

When Shannon was little, I found someone in the neighborhood that was giving piano lessons. Her teacher was a teenager and Shannon was in second grade. Shannon liked her and didn't give me a hard time about lessons. But eventually, her teacher stopped giving lessons and went off to college and we had to find someone new. Shannon's teacher gave us a list of people she knew in the area that were giving lessons. So I called and Shannon started taking lessons from her second piano teacher. He was a teenage boy and his and Shannon's personalities didn't really match and gradually Shannon lost interest in piano. She didn't want to take lessons any more. So she stopped. I wanted her to continue. I've read so many articles about how music is good for children's math skills. But put that aside, just being able to create music is something that will stay with you for life. I loved the idea of music being created in the house. But as a mom, you have to pick and choose your battles. And there are many. So the keyboard she had remanded quiet.

But then, a number of years later, Shannon asked for a keyboard for her birthday. The small inexpensive one was long gone. It had been moved to the basement and I'm pretty sure one of the boys pulled on a cord too hard or turned a switch with too much force and it had stopped working. Now Shannon wanted a good one, an expensive one. The deal was that she had to take lessons again. If I was going to invest a small fortune in a good keyboard, she was going to learn how to play it. She agreed. Now she goes to lessons with no arguing. She does it because she wants to. We found a piano teacher that is a teacher by profession. She listens to what Shannon wants to learn how to play, not just the next song in the lesson book. Shannon is happy playing piano because she came to it on her own.

Shannon also played and still plays soccer. She had played for a number of years and she had a coach that she had loved during that time. We even switched soccer leagues to stay with him as well as a great group of girls. But then he tragically died and Shannon wanted to take a break from soccer. It was very understandable. She had had the same coach and she played with the same group of girls for a number of seasons. If she played again, not only would she not have the same coach, but she would be with a new group of girls. She wasn't ready for that. So she stopped.

But then one day, Shannon said that she wanted to play again. She missed soccer. We talked about what league to sign up for and that we wouldn't know what team she would end up on or who would be on her team. She understood and so we signed up. She ended up with a few of her friends from that original team as well as another great coach. Shannon stayed with that team until she moved to travel. Shannon was happy because she came back to soccer on her own.

Chris and I were both raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school for 12 years and Chris' mom was the director of her parish's CCD program for about 25 years. Chris also has a sister that became a nun. When we were little, we both went to church every week and we both had parents that, when on vacation, would find a Catholic Church so not to miss a week.

Fast forward a number of years when Chris and I now have a family. We joined our community Catholic Church, signed the kids up for Sunday School and went to Church every week. When the kids were little, the kids were up early anyway, one of us would take the older ones to church while the other would stay home with the babies. We would switch off each week and that was our routine for years until the kids got older and started going to CCD during the week. Then we started going to church on Saturday night. It really was perfect. We would go to church, then have dinner, and then sleep in on Sunday morning.  

Fast forward again, and now my kids have travel soccer games and travel basketball and tournaments and they could be late on Saturday night or early on Sunday morning and we haven't been going to church on a regular basis. I would do my best to get us there, but the reality of it all is I was alone in this battle. I battle with the kids every Monday to go to their CCD classes. I would hear moans and groans from them when I told them we were going to church and Chris is more in the camp of you can pray anywhere and doesn't have the need to go to church. As much as I agree with Chris that you can pray anywhere, I also believe that as parents, it is our job to share our faith with our children and there is something to be said about routine and doing something every week and sitting quietly in church away from soccer and basketball and homework and housework and just sitting quietly. There is something about being still and quiet in church that I think is hard to find in our crazy, chaotic but wonderful life. But I was tired of battling this battle alone. I was tired and so I stopped looking at the soccer schedule and basketball schedule to figure out when we could get to mass. I was tired of being the only one fighting this battle. I was just tired and so we stopped going to church and we slept in on Sunday. I didn't tell them we weren't going. It was more of a gradual thing and an all at once kind of thing at the same time.

The kids still go to CCD, Molly has made her First Holy Communion, Shannon was just Confirmed but we weren't going to church. But then this weekend Shannon made a comment that we don't go to church anymore. I told her I think about it every week but it became such a battle with you guys I kind of gave up. Timmy over heard this and said I think about church every weekend too. I asked Shannon if she wanted to go. She said yes. Timmy said he wanted to go as well. I told Shannon that Ryan had a basketball game Saturday night and she had soccer training at 10:30 Sunday morning so if she wanted to go she would have to get up early and we could go to the 8:45 mass. She said yes. Timmy was hesitant about having to get up early. I didn't push it. That night I found this sticky note on my door from Shannon.

So I set my alarm and got up to get ready for church. I walked down to Shannon's room and she was up getting ready as well. I walked into Timmy's room just to let him know that we were going if he wanted to go with us. He rolled over and moaned but in the end, he got up to come with us. Then when I walked back to my room, Chris was up. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was going to come to church with us. I said, "Well, if you're coming, then Molly and Ryan need to come too."

Now, when Shannon said that she wanted to go to church. I was secretly jumping for joy inside. She had come back to it on her own just like piano, just like soccer. The guilt I felt of not going to church for so long didn't feel so bad any more. But now, the whole picture was about to change. I was going to have to wake up Ryan and Molly and it wasn't going to be pretty. Ryan did his usual moaning and groaning and sulking and complaining but did get up and got dressed. Molly on the other hand, my sweet, "Yes, Mom," "Okay, Mom," "I love you, Mom," must have still been sleeping because the girl that was screaming and yelling was not my Molly. 

"Shannon, this is all your fault, just because YOU wanted to go to church, look what you've done!!!! Now we all have to go! Sunday mornings are suppose to be MAGICAL because we get to sleep in, well Mom, you just KILLED the MAGIC!!!!!"

I kid you not, I'm a magic killer. What was I doing?!?! This is why we didn't go to church anymore. I was right back to where I left off those many months before. I almost walked out with just Shannon and Timmy, but Chris, my "you can pray anywhere" guy said, "No" and helped get everyone into the car.

We went to church this past Sunday as a family. I sat there exhausted from my morning and thinking about how I am a magic killer. But then I also starting thinking about Shannon with her piano and how she came back to it, and then soccer, she came back to it, and how maybe, just maybe we as parents might need to step back sometimes and let them make their own choices, and hope and pray that we have guided them well. As I sat there, hoping and praying for guidance and patience, my family all together, Molly's head nestled into me, despite me being a magic killer, Molly leans over to me and whispers,  "Can we leave after the halftime show?" "Halftime show? What do you mean?" as I looked at her puzzled. "You know, when we get up to get communion and they start playing the music, you know, the halftime show?" Okay, I guess this girl has watched too many of her brothers' basketball games and football games, and there has been too much football playoff games on TV this weekend. And that's when I thought, this is messy glory. You got to get through the messy to get to the glory. And even though our morning wasn't perfect, it was good.

                                               ~ Gretchen Rubin

What do you find when you clean out a closet?

So here's the boys' closet before shots. You can see attempts of trying to get them organized but obviously unsuccessful. I had a bookcase on one side but somehow the books always were on the floor. The top of the bookcase became a dumping spot for Timmy's basketball, his uniform and sneakers. I had purchased some bins from Target to help organize the one shelf in the closet, but they just weren't enough. I also had some Container Store drawers on the other side of the closet, another attempt to get them organized. But it wasn't enough.

...And so we emptied the closet and pulled out that one shelf. 

...We then painted the closet. Molly helped just like she did with her closet and Shannon's closet.

The elfa shelves from The Container Store made their way to the boys' room...their messy glory.

On Sunday, Chris finally got the shelves in and the cleaning of their room began.

The whole process of reorganizing their closet has led us to uncover little treasures of their past, present and their future. We started with their books. I asked the boys to sort their books, make a pile they want to donate, books that can be passed down to Molly, and then make categories of the books they were keeping. I found out that there are really only two categories, sport books and non-sport books.

These are the books that they read now. These are the books that they have read in the past and want to reread. There are times I have asked Timmy, "Haven't you read that book before?" He will respond with a "yes," but then explain how it was a while ago or last year and he forgets the details of the story but he remembers enjoying the characters, he remembers how the book made him feel when he read the story the first time. This then reminds me of what I tell my kids all the time, people may not always remember the words you say but they will remember how you made them feel. Did you make them feel welcome, did you make them feel included, did you make them feel like you were their friend? Books are the same way. We may not always remember all the details of a story, but if it was a good book, you will remember how you felt when you read it. For my boys, Mike Lupica, Dan Gutman, Matt Christopher books are the books that they read over and over again.

My boys love sports books. Not only can they tell you about today's athletes, but they can tell you the stories of the great players of the past...Ted Williams, Satchel Paige, and Lou Gehrig. Timmy is especially touched by Shoeless Joe's story and it breaks his heart that he was banned from baseball and couldn't enter the Hall of Fame.

This is a glimpse into the future. These are some of the books that have yet to be read, books that have been given to them from my brother who also enjoys a good story about sports. 

And here is the finished product...only the clothes that they wear today, only the things that they use today and we now know where everything is.

We found a home for Nealon #3 jersey so that I won't hear, "Mom, where's my jersey?"

We found a home for Nealon #2.

We also found a little something from the past, this adorable little sock, size 12-24 months. How could this still be in their stuff all these years, but it was.

Oh, how they have grown.

More stuff from the past, we found lots of clothes that were either too small or they just weren't going to wear anymore. The best way to organize is NOT to organize, but to get rid of your stuff.

We found some of their team baseball shirts from years past. They said they didn't want them anymore but I couldn't just throw them away without taking a picture. When Timmy saw the picture, he said, "Thanks, Mom!"

The best thing we found while cleaning out their closet are these empty drawers. The room feels lighter not having every space occupied. A little room for the future.

Messy Glory in a Pantry, a Closet, and a Sitting Room

What did you do this three day weekend? Well, the Nealons are in the mist of Messy Glory! Every January I make the resolution to get more organized. I know, not that original. Many people do it. But that's why it's the best time to look for all those organizational gadgets. The stores are filled with them this time of year and lots of sales. I am always on the lookout  for new ideas on how to get my home to run more efficiently so that there is more fun time with family. Truth is though, our family is always changing and growing. We constantly are finding new interests so old toys lay on the shelves untouched for months. The kids are physically growing and so those closets have to be sorted out again and clothes that are too small are either passed down or are put in the donation bin.


Chris is not a big fan of Messy Glory. He hates when I get one of these organizational binges. He really can't stand the messiness but like many things, you have to go through messiness to get to the glory. He gets overwhelmed and I understand it. When I get an organizational craze it's like that book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, one thing always leads to another.


It started with The Container Store's annual closet sale. They have it every January. Every year, I organize one space or closet during their sale. 


I have reorganized Shannon's closet.

Before...

After...Builder's shelf knocked out, closet painted and a year later the girl can straighten up her closet in five minutes. A little bit of organization made all the difference in the world.


I have reorganized Molly's closet.
















Molly loved helping me paint Shannon's closet as well as her. You can see I tried to be organized with  some bins on the bottom but Molly couldn't reach her clothes and so she would pull them down and not be able to get them back up. In her new set-up, the clothes she wears the most are either in the drawers or hanging on the lower rod where she can reach them.


I have created an art room under the basement stairs.

I have organized our garage.

This year, it's time to redo the boys' closet and so there is lots of messy glory in their room. 

They are presently sleeping in the basement until their room is put back together.

Chris pulling out the shelf and rod so I can spackle and paint the closet. Then it will be his turn to put up the new shelves.

More messy glory sitting in the master bedroom, the boys shelving just waiting to be put up. This is in addition to me reorganizing the sitting room.


I've turned the sitting room into my scrapbook room. Many things have found there way to the floor with no real home or place to put them. So, more reorganizing. 

This is still a work in progress. A new book shelf was built and now the organizing of years and years of pictures will take time. I once read that the best way to get organized is NOT to organize...but to get rid of stuff. Simply...we have all heard that word many times in magazines, on blogs, and on talk shows. We need to simplify. I have had bagfuls of garbage this weekend of things I haven't touched in years.


When organizing you need to ask yourself the question...Do I find this thing useful or beautiful?


I always get stuck on the how useful a thing is. How often do I use it? Do I use it enough for it to take up valuable space in my home? If I do want to keep it, how often I use it will dictate where its home should be. Do I need easy access to it or can it be on the top shelf? These are the questions I've been asking myself over and over this weekend.


One project that was actually completed this weekend was the pantry. We have a very small pantry for the size of our kitchen and for a family of six.  Utilizing the space well and keeping things neat is important. I have heard many times, "Mom, where are the cookies?" "Honey, where did you put the popcorn?" This weekend, I had Shannon paint the pantry. For her first real paint job, I think she did quite a nice job. But this did lead to more messy glory around the house.

The finished job! I had her paint it the same color as our laundry room. I found this contact paper that just happened to match the paint perfectly when I was having the laundry room painted back in November. Then we threw away any old food, placed the rest of the food in our new containers, and then labeled everything. 

A little bit of glory was found in the pantry this weekend and hopefully soon, the boys' closet and my scrapbooking room will be glorious as well!

How a Chimpanzee Made a Mom Happy

 Do your kids have a favorite animal? Mine do. Animals are a big part of my kids lives. Not just our two dogs, our new cat that we rescued and our fish tank that we got for Christmas two years ago but the animals in our own backyard. We have saved baby bunnies in our yard from the hawk that would sit on our swing set. We have built protective cages over turtle nests in our front yard so that predators wouldn't eat them, and we have tried to put baby birds back in their nests that had fallen out. My kids love animals. 


Studies have found that there is a positive correlation between happiness and owning pets. Studies have shown that pets may influence people’s health as well by reducing blood pressure, improving heart attack victim’s likelihood of future survival, and by reducing factors of general health and annual medical needs. Several scientists have recognized that pets seem to help adolescents with anger and stress management. I know that when my kids get upset and they go to their room to be "alone" they seem to always take one of the dogs or the cat with them. 

Shannon has always loved dolphins. When Shannon was little her favorite Disney princess was Ariel. When we go to the ocean she is the first one in and the last one out. When we went on the Disney Cruise a few years ago we booked a dolphin encounter. Shannon was in heaven.


Timmy's favorite animal is the duck. Yes, the duck. In school, he has written stories about ducks. He has made up songs about ducks and he can sing The Duck Song on youtube word for word.

Molly's favorite animal is the horse. She has picked out posters for her room for when I repaint it. She has been reading a series of books called The Horse Dairies and she draws horses in her sketch book.

And then there is my Ryan. His favorite animal is the monkey or the chimpanzee. Last year, in third grade, Ryan chose the chimpanzee for his Animal Fair project. The Animal Fair is a big deal at their elementary school. Ryan was looking forward to third grade because of the animal fair. He knew Shannon had done her project on the dolphin, Timmy, the eagle (the duck wasn't a choice) and he knew he wanted the chimpanzee. When it was time to start working on the animal fair project, I remember the day when Ryan came home and told me that he had been assigned the chimpanzee. He was ecstatic with a smile on his face from ear to ear. It is not often that Ryan is excited about something he is learning in school. But this he was. I ordered him a few books from Amazon on chimpanzees as well as a National Geographic movie about Jane Goodall. He was motivated!

A lot of work goes into the Animal Fair. Each student learns to do research through books and the internet. They write a report. They make a poster. They make a diorama in art of their animal in their habitat. They write poems about their animals and they design a t-shirt. It's a big deal for these kids and they are so excited when the big day finally arrives and they get to show off all their work and what they have learned.

Ryan still loves monkeys and chimpanzees. Not long before Christmas, I found Ryan on the computer googling how to buy a monkey.

It doesn't surprise me that the chimpanzee is his favorite animal. Just look at my Ryan.

According to Ryan's research, chimpanzees and humans share 98% of the same DNA. 

Christmas came and Santa had done good. It wasn't the real monkey that he wanted but a robotic one named Dave. It came with a remote control and you can make Dave do different things and make different noises. This was Ryan's favorite toy.

Ryan hugging Dave.

I found this picture on my camera. Ryan must of wanted a picture of Dave.

This Wednesday was our last full day in NY. We went to the movies to go see We Bought a Zoo. It was very good and we enjoyed it but when we walked into the theater it was empty. I read somewhere that too many choices can cause unhappiness. Well, there were too many choices as to where we should sit. "No, this is too close...This is too far back...I want to sit next to Uncle Brian...I want to sit next to Mom." You know there is going to be someone that is unhappy, and that person was Ryan. Ryan was unhappy about where he was sitting and yet would not change seats with Timmy even though Timmy and Shannon were sharing a popcorn and weren't sitting next to each other. Ryan then decided he didn't want to sit next to anyone and got up and found a seat all by himself. Lots of drama but I knew he would be back and he was. He sat at the end of our row and I was at the other end with everyone in between. He still had on his mad face, he still was not going to talk to anyone but he was back. 

Then the previews started...one after another..."That one looks good...I want to see that...When is that one coming out?" And then the next preview came on that changed Ryan for the rest of the movie...

When the preview started, I leaned over to see if I could see Ryan way down at the other end. He was mesmerized. When the trailer finished, he looked at me and we both gave each other a thumbs up and then I could see the anger melt away from his face and a sense of contentment came over him as he leaned back into his chair to watch the movie...all because of a chimpanzee. A little bit of messiness before we got to the glory.

Is there a positive correlation between happiness and interaction with animals? Well, this mom was certainly happy at the moment the Chimpanzee trailer came on that day in the movie theater...and so was Ryan.

Messy Glory Part 2

Messy Glory! Oh, it's messy alright. My scrapbooking room, the kitchen, and the rest of the house as well. 

    I did clear off the desk so I had a spot to wrap.

But we pick and choose how we spend our time. Today, I was at my kids' school for the Sing-along. I was there for the second grade party, and I was there for the fourth grade party. I didn't have to volunteer to be room mom. I didn't have to plan the parties. I didn't have to go to the Sing-along. But what memories do I want my kids to have? The wrapping will get finished. The house will get cleaned. But sometimes you have to be okay with a little mess in order to have a little glory.

The glory of hundreds of people singing together.

                           

 The glory of second graders working hard on their snowmen...

...and the glory of fourth graders having so much fun in happy chaos to make their carolers.


Now off to do a little cleaning before the glory of a birthday celebration tonight.