Do We Do the Things We Love to Do?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about happiness and how I spend my time and how my kids spend their time. Their new school year has started and I want them to be happy just like every other mom. I want them to like their teachers and their teachers to like them. I want them to enjoy what they are learning and have friends to eat lunch with when they walk into the cafeteria. I sit here at my desk looking at my September calendar already quite full with soccer and football and basketball and horseback riding and dance. Not one of my kids is too over scheduled but for me as the mom who has to get them to all their activities, it can be a bit overwhelming. 

As I looked at the calendar yesterday afternoon, I thought about their free time. They had lots of free time over the summer to hang out with friends at the pool, play basketball in the driveway, or watch a favorite movie. But now that school is in session, how will they choose to spend their free time?

So last night at dinner, I gave everyone a piece of paper and a pencil. 

"Oh, no, what's this for?" one asked. 

"School has started and mom's giving us a test," another replied.

 "I want everyone to write 5 things down that you enjoy doing in your free time," I told them.

"It's some sort of trick, I know it," was another response.

Then Timmy said to the others, "You might want to be careful of the order you write everything because the last time I got in trouble, mom made me write all my electronics in order of how much I enjoy them and then she took them all away from me for a punishment and I had to earn each one back in order of least favorite to most favorite."

Then Shannon said, "I don't know if I should write down what I really like to do or what she wants to hear. If I write reading, she'll know I'm lying because everyone knows I don't like to read!"

It was just too funny the panic that arose from simply asking the question, "What do you like to do in your free time?" They were all wondering, "Why...why does she want to know this and what is she going to do with this information?" 

I really just was curious as to what they would write down if asked the question, "What are 5 things you enjoy doing in your free time?"

So I told them that I would go first. The first thing I wrote down was documenting our life, whether it's taking pictures, Project Life, or this blog, I enjoy all of it. Number 2 was read. The next two were ride my bike and bake, and then I told them that I don't do these enough. When we go to Kiawah, I really love going out in the morning and riding our bikes but when we are at home, my bike is hanging up on the wall, in a hard to reach place and I really should make more of an effort to do this activity that I enjoy. It was the same thing with baking. I used to bake a lot more years ago but now it has gotten harder to find the time. My last activity on my list was watching Gilmore Girls on DVD. The series no longer airs but we have the DVD's and when there is nothing on TV and I just need to veg-out, I'll pop an episode in. Shannon enjoys the show as well so it is one thing that I can actually say I have in common with my teenage daughter.

So after I went through my list, everyone seemed to settle down and wrote their 5 things on their list. We went around the table and they shared their lists. Chris had golf and fishing on his list and then one of the kids said, "But you hardly ever do those things!?!?" 

That was exactly my point! Do we do the things that we enjoy? Do we make time in our everyday life to have a little bit of fun? I asked the kids to look at their lists and I said, "You have 5 things on your list. Do you do one thing more than the others? Do you spend most of your time playing xbox and maybe not enough time doing something else that you enjoy on your list?" 

I just wanted them to think about their time and how they spend it. I just wanted to plant the seed that if you watch a little less TV and play a little less xbox, that they would have more time for the other things on their list.

Then our dinner continued, our conversations went to other subjects, and stories were told. Did I get my point across? I don't know. But parenting is about planting one little seed at a time and then revisiting that seed every once in a while to nourish it and hope that the seed you planted starts to take root in their heads.

Now, that I'm finished writing this blog (documenting our life, number 1 on my list) I am going to order Gretchen Rubin's new book Happier at Home that was released today (read, number 2 on my list).

Today was "Someday"

Every Tuesday, Molly, Ryan, and I drive down Sycolin Road to go to Molly's horseback riding lesson. Ever since they have paved it a couple of years ago, I have become more and more familiar with it, the hills, the turns, the open field, and some of the trees. There is one huge, old tree on the side of the road opposite the open field. It is the perfect climbing tree, big, thick, low branches that seem to be perfectly placed so one could work their way up to the top. Every time I drive by it I can envision my boys using their strong arms and legs to get from one branch and then the next. There is another tree that I've also noticed as you come into Leesburg, just past the airport. There is a small open field on the right side and that is where a tree stands with a tire swing. Every week we drive by this tree. There are times when I sit at the stop light and wonder; Who's tree was this? Who put the tire swing up there? It looks so out of place, this big, old tree on the side of the road with a tire swing. I don't see a house or a building nearby. This big, old tree with a tire swing...someday I'm going to stop when I'm not in a rush and take a picture. Every time I drive by I think the same thing. 


There is a great picture book called Someday is Not a Day of the Week. I'm not sure if this book is geared toward the kids or maybe more the parents. A little beaver, Max, is always trying to do something with the grown-ups in his life. They always seem to be too busy with other things and tell Max, "Someday, Max, but not today." But then Max figures out that someday is not a day of the week and that they should go have some fun today!


Well, today was Someday! After dropping Molly off at horseback riding on this glorious 66 degree last day of January, I told Ryan that we were going for a ride. I told him we were going to take a ride to a tree. 


"A tree?!?" he asked. 


"Yes, you know that tree on the side of the road with the tire swing? Well, I always wanted to stop there and take a picture."


Ryan's eyes light up and he's all in! What 10 year old boy wouldn't be?

 A tree, a tire, a rope, and a boy...life is good!

This tree was just calling to me, inviting me, welcoming me..."Someone come, someone swing on my swing!"

Pure joy!

What does the world look like from up there?

Can it really be January 31st?

How high can I push this swing?

What does the world look like upside down?

Love this kid!

The shorts and the t-shirt tell me it's warm outside but the long winter shadows tell me that today may only be a short lived gift.

And as we looked around, we found another tire swing...

...and another.

I'm glad today was Someday, because who knows if these trees will still be here much longer. We were only there for 15 minutes, but I hope Ryan remembers this...someday.


*****


A Project Life note...January is over and February is here. I just downloaded my pictures to Shutterfly and placed my order. I can't wait to get my bright orange folder in the mail and start putting together my first month of 2012.

Happier Than a Bird with a French Fry

Yesterday on Facebook, I posted this picture of a note Molly wrote to her teacher. I found it in her homework folder as I was going through her school bag making sure she had everything.

I LOVED it! Molly has a naturally happy disposition. That is just who she is. But when I picked her up from school and told her to get ready for horseback riding, she was not happy. She had a mini-meltdown and did not want to go. I know it was because she was overtired. She even told me she was tired. Even though yesterday was Tuesday, it was really "Monday" for us because of the three-day holiday weekend. We have had late nights. I feel bad for Molly because I know she doesn't get enough sleep. That is one of the disadvantages of being the youngest of four. Six years ago, when Shannon was in second grade, I had our bedtime routine down with no problem. Dinner was always between 6-6:30, everyone was in the bath after dinner, one right after the other, bedtime stories were read and lights were out by 8:00. Usually everyone was sleeping by 8:30. Today, Molly is lucky to get her dinner at 8:30 and in bed by 9:00. It's funny, but in a way Molly is not growing up in the same family that Shannon grew up in. Shannon is the oldest with three younger siblings, there were routines and everyone was in bed by a certain time. The family that Molly is growing up in is different, same siblings, same parents, but her life is not the same being the youngest. She knows songs that she wouldn't have known if it wasn't for her older brothers and sister, she watches TV shows and movies that she wouldn't if it wasn't for her older brothers and sister, and she has things like a hand-me-down ipod touch from her sister that she never would have had if she didn't have older siblings.

So yesterday, when I saw that she was tired from her school day and the meltdown was coming, I asked her where my bird with the french fry was? She replied very forcefully, "Well, this bird doesn't have a french fry and so she can't go to horseback riding!!" Again, I know she was overtired. I was tired too. I knew that Chris wasn't coming home for dinner and I also knew we had a free schedule after horseback riding was over. I didn't have to drive all over town to drop kids off at basketball and soccer practice and so I told her if she went to horseback riding she could have french fries for dinner. It was a deal. We went to horseback riding, which she absolutely loves and she did great. 

My little bluebird of happiness was back to her old self with her french fries in hand and then she made me this picture in "The Mom Book."

Last night, I was a mom as happy as a bird with a french fry. 

I love you because...

I found this sign on Pinterest the other day.

...And then I found this note in the corner of my desktop calendar.

Just a reminder from a seven year old, that when I'm comparing myself to other moms and feeling a bit inadequate  because the house is a mess or because I don't bake enough or because I don't do crafts with them enough, or because I don't read to them enough or because I'm not organized enough and one of them misses a party : ( 
...they still love me.

What Can You Get Done in 15 Minutes?

Yesterday I worked on my Project Life album. After only ten days into the new year, I’ve already seen lots of blog posts of what their first few pages look like...journal cards filled—out, pictures already in place and some with lots of embellishments to make them all look pretty. I have found some pins on pinterest as well and started my own board for Project Life. 

This is what mine looks like.

Not exactly like some of the ones I’ve seen posted. But I am caught up on my journal cards. What I try to do is sit down once a day, usually in the evening after the kids are in their rooms, and write my journal card. But sometimes life gets in the way and it doesn’t get done. That’s when my back-up plan comes into place. Every Monday, I set time aside to catch-up. With my camera by my side and my plan book open, I can write those journal cards pretty quickly. I still don’t have my pictures in the album. They won’t come until the end of the month. At the end of January, I will download all my pictures for the month to Shutterfly and when that bright orange envelope arrives in the mail, I will slide the pictures into place. Not all of my cards will stay exactly where they are now. Depending on how many pictures I have for a particular day, my cards may get moved around. Project Life can be different for different people. Some people take a picture a day. I try to do that, but I don’t always stick to it and that’s okay.  There are some days that I wouldn’t be able to stick to just one picture…Ryan’s birthday or Molly’s pictures from her own little picture project, for example.

I follow Gretchen Rubin’s blog, The Happiness Project. She has written about organization, using time more wisely, and getting things done and how it all relates to your happiness.

Some of her words that run through my head are:

People usually overestimate what they can get done in a day and underestimate what they can get done in 15 minutes.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a “to-do” list for the day and at the end of the day I am disappointed because I didn’t get everything done. It wasn’t because I wasn’t busy. It wasn’t because I wasn’t focused. It really was because I overestimated what I could get done in that day. We sometimes set ourselves up for failure. We think about all the things we didn’t do and not all the things we did get done that day.

Once a week, Gretchen Rubin posts a video on her blog. In 2011, she was focused on resolutions. Each week she would have a resolution suggestion. This year she is focusing on getting rid of those “pigeons of discontent,” kind of the opposite of the “bluebird of happiness.” What are those “little” things that weigh us down and then make us discontent? On yesterday’s post she talked about that overwhelming task of doing something with all those family pictures. She said if you do something for 15 minutes everyday (which equals an hour and 45 minutes by the end of the week) you will make a dent in whatever overwhelming task is before you.

Click here to see her blog.

People overestimate what they can get done in a day and underestimate what they can get done in 15 minutes. So if you take 15 minutes out of your day, everyday to do something with your family pictures, whether it’s scrapbooking, digital books, or Project Life, by the end of the year, you will have something that documents your family’s life.

It only takes 15 minutes.

Because of Pinterest

For the past two months I have been a part of the Pinterest world. One day, I was having a conversation on Facebook with a friend (I can't remember about what) and the next thing I know she is sending me an invite for Pinterest. I checked my email and there it was. I've heard about Pinterest. I understood the concept...a digital pin board. When I was a kid, if I read an article I liked, I would save it. I would tear out pages from magazines of favorite clothes, looks I liked, books I wanted to read. I didn't have a bulletin board but I had a book that I put all those things into. I still have one. I have a large binder with dividers for Christmas ideas, Room Mom ideas, General mom stuff, and home ideas. It's all things I want to do with my kids, my family, my home, my life. What's great about Pinterest is not only do I get to pin my own finds from different blogs and websites, but I also can see what other friends have found. I can see what they are interested in and what great ideas they have come across.


Pinterest has become my digital binder. I have pin boards for crafts, home ideas, inspiration, recipes, organization, photography, just to name a few. I have heard some people call it a time sucker. That is true. You can get lost in the Pinterest World but I have found that it has enhanced my life as well. There are so many great ideas out there that people have shared on their blogs and websites and now I can try them too. 


Because of Pinterest, I have found my new camera bag which I love!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/86885028/digital-slr-camera-bag-dslr-camera-bag

Because of Pinterest, I found this sign that I bought with my family's birthdays. 

This one is from the website.   

                                              http://www.zazzle.com/dated_wall_art_families_w_2_children_poster-228460209397061247

Because of Pinterest, I found this craft idea of cute Christmas trees that Shannon then made for me.

Because of Pinterest, I found a great gift idea for all my kids' CCD teacher with a Starbucks cup and then I added tootsie rolls and mints.

Adding a Little Enhancement to a Monday!

Because of Pinterest, I found a cute Christmas tree craft with buttons that Molly did after school one day.

Adding a Little Enhancement to a Monday!

Because of Pinterest my sister-in-law found these yummy Santa hat brownies. I think I ate 5 of them that night.

Because of Pinterest, I found a melting snowman cookie recipe that Molly and I made together New Year's Eve.

A New Year's Resolution - What I Won't Say in 2012

Because of Pinterest, I found this 2012 declutter and organize calendar that I printed out. It gives you one small thing to organize a day. So far, I have been using it as a guide.

http://www.mysimplerlife.com/2012.htm

 It reminds me of that quote:

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

We get so overwhelmed if we think about organizing our whole house, so if you just organize one drawer at a time, one shelf at a time, one basket or bin at a time, eventually it will get done.

Yesterday, I was on a roll and I cleared off this surface in my study that always get filled with papers to file. 

I bought these refrigerator bins at Bed, Bath, and Beyond to organize all our yogurts. 

And then I organized my night stand drawer. It's amazing the stuff that was in there. But now it is all a little neater. Small, little enhancements that made me a bit happier yesterday. All because of an organization calendar I found on Pinterest.

And my latest find...I wasn't on Pinterest, but on a blog and she had written that she had found this great idea on Pinterest. You all know those Christmas cards we all just got.  Well, I hate to throw them away. Especially all the pictures of the kids, my nieces and nephews, children of friends that I haven't seen in years. It is so much fun to see how everyone has grown from year to year.


This is how I kept all those photos and cards.

And now with a free download, this is how they look now!

http://www.box.com/s/gaomrx5ro8tife8yndjn

None of these ideas were mine. They all belonged to someone else. They shared them on the internet through their websites and blogs and then people pinned them to Pinterest. A modern day way to share. If you want an invitation to Pinterest, just let me know. I'll send you one. I love to share.

A New Year's Resolution - What I Won't Say in 2012

When I was little I remember baking all sorts of different kinds of cookies at Christmas time with my mom. I remember scooting one of the kitchen chairs over to the counter to help add the ingredients into the bowl. I remember picking and choosing cookie cutters and trying to figure out how to get them all to fit onto the rolled out dough like a jigsaw puzzle.


The past few years I have not made any Christmas cookies. I could say that "I didn't have time" to bake. But I really hate that phrase. We are all guilty of saying it. Especially us moms. Our lives and schedules are so busy. There is so much that we want to do. I don't have time to bake...I don't have time to scrapbook...I don't have time for______ . You fill in the blank. But it is such a negative statement. If you think about it, we all get the same amount of time every single day. We all get 24 hours. We get to choose what we will do with that 24 hours. 


How did you choose to spend this first day of 2012. Did you take a nap or play a game with your kids? Did you take down Christmas decorations or watch a football game? Did you spend the day with friends or did you scrapbook? All choices. So instead of saying, "I didn't have time" to bake before Christmas, I say that I chose to be the room mom for Ryan's and Molly's classes and planned their holiday parties. I say that we chose to go to NY for Christmas and so I had to wrap and pack to get ready for our trip. 


I remember a while back getting together with a bunch of teacher friends. We started talking about scrapbooking. Some of us do it and others do not. The ones that do not, said that they "didn't have the time." Now they are working moms and so you might say that they don't have the time but as the conversation continued they said that they hated doing bulletin boards and that scrapbooking reminded them of those bulletin boards. They dreaded every month trying to come up with a new idea for them. So all those things that we "don't have time for" do we really not have the time or is the real question do we really want to be making that scrapbook, baking those cookies, organizing those closets? My friends that didn't scrapbook would probably not choose to scrapbook even if they had more time. 


So the next time you find yourself saying, "I don't have time for that" ask yourself if it is really something you want to do? If it is something your really want to do and enjoy doing then you need to choose to do that fun thing...whatever it is.


Before Christmas, I made different choices and did not choose to bake cookies. But I really enjoy doing it and so Molly and I made New Year cookies. At 11:42pm New Year's Eve Molly and I were in the kitchen rolling out cookie dough.

                                           This morning it was time to decorate.

These are suppose to look like melted snowmen. They don't look exactly like the picture we had but we had fun making them.

So in 2012, I am going to enhance my life by not saying, "I don't have time for that." It is either something I really didn't want to do in the first place or it is something that I need to choose to do because it brings me happiness.

This year Molly and I chose to make our cookies at 11:42pm on New Year's Eve. We just might have started a new tradition in the Nealon House. Another pearl was just added to the necklace of family memories.